I'm cold, wet, hungry and well over dismal. I picture the scene in front of me and remember the horrid accident...
The sun smiled with a glowing happyness, the water shimmered like body glitter. I could sense the excitment within us. The Biscane waited patiently, yearning to go and let loose. The enviroment had a happy spunk, nothing could go wrong. A thought cast in my mind, is this safe enough? Should I go back home?Have I sealed my fate in danger?I shook my head in laughter, why would Mr Woody take us on this trip if he knew we would be in this life threatning (well maybe I might be exaggerating about the life threatning part) situiation?
"Amal, Amal, wake up!,"Rebecca.W cried, she was shaking me to death, her fingers dug into my shoulders and her eyes were wide as saucers. "There's a black causing havoc and this beautiful day is wrecked and my teddy bear is scared." The black cloud seemed to make every living soul shake with fear. The sea was choppy and and the white froth turned into a snarl and the smiling sun was no longer there. "JUMP!," bellowed a very smart person. Phew! I was just in time. The boat rised into the air, taking hope, strength, logic and Mr Woody. I plunged into the sea and swam to shore with the snarling white wave chasing me. I coughed and spulttered as I thought about my day. I have to fight to survive and get Mr Woody back, when we get home,that's if we ever get home.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
13 comments:
Interesting, though it jumps around a bit sometimes...
The dialog seems to falter in places, but otherwise I like it. Maybe you could be a little more discriptive and lengthen it a tad?\
Gwe Lea
P.S. Took you long enough
Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!Post the rest!
o.k o.k o.k
HURRY UP! Nah, take your time and make it worth the wait!
Gwe Lea
Also, this story seems more like random snatches of thought than a proper story. You're in the middle of saying one thing, sometimes even really well, then you go on to something breif and, no offence, baddly put.
Gwe Lee
changed it a bit.
Lama, can you please post the rest sometime in the near future?
Lama, I found another mistake:
"There's a black causing havoc-"
Gwe Lee
P.S. You didn't tell you what the Biscayne actually is!
LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA LAMA! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
POST IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post a Comment